Pluto Upset

I wrote the article below in 2006 just weeks after Pluto became a non-planet and after NASA’s New Horizons spacecraft was launched to study planet Pluto.  After nine years of flight the spacecraft is again in the news closing in on this July’s fly-by.

It remains a real story of intrigue and mysterious dealings, who demoted it and why.

Also embedded is a link to an MP3 of a touching telephone conversation NASA had in 2006 with the woman who as a little girl in England in 1930 gave Pluto its name.

I hope that you all enjoy it. It is a good sunny-afternoon-and-relax read.

[My passion for Pluto – as you can tell by the image above and the tone of the piece – has been with me since childhood. Some foundations of youth shouldn’t be messed with by big people.]

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Have you been listening to the news recently?

Astronomy has to be the last refuge of scientific scoundrels.

Members of the International Astronomical Union [IAU] – self-appointed in these matters since 1919 – have taken it upon themselves to demean a heavenly body that has been known as the planet Pluto.

At their August convention in Prague, Czech Republic, during what could have actually included a bacchanal, only 300 of the 2500 members were able to make the final vote, and the IAU removed Pluto’s planetness. (It’s well known that post-communist-era Prague has an international reputation for adult entertainment. Saying you are going there for a scholarly convention is like telling your wife you’re visiting Las Vegas to study human relations.)

Despite burying the Pluto issue deep within their Agenda, disguised as “Resolution 5A”, their Welcome Message – did they mean to say “Welcome Massage” – could be another indication of the good-times and real intent of their so-called General Assembly.  It proclaimed, “A new feature in the Prague GA will be the ‘hot topics’ sessions to capture the excitement of the most recent astronomical activities.”

In Prague-speak we know what ‘hot topics” could mean: substitute astronomical as this secret-society’s code word for anatomical and it makes sense.

So it was in this unseemly environment that this collection of alleged academics made their attack on defenseless Pluto.

And look at an astounding admission, as reported by the press, that they were forced to make to justify it:

One Alan Stern, head of Southwest Research Institute of San Antonio [Texas] admits that, ‘It’s time we have a definition [of a planet]. It’s embarrassing to the public that we as astronomers don’t have one.’

You mean since its founding in 1919 your organization hasn’t had any definition of a “planet”? Then how could you have been using the word? Maybe you are just a collection of weekend garage mechanics out for a good time pretending to be scientists?

But let’s depart academic mindlessness and get practical.

Here is some of the contemporary fallout from this act of celestial sabotage.

Astrologers, who work under the 12 signs of the Zodiac, have been put to internal strife: some have abandoned Pluto and others have maintained their loyalty.

Of those who have shoved Pluto onto the third rail is a group known as “minor-planet astrologers.” They rejoice at Pluto’s demotion, believing that its new category (Dwarf-Planet) will bring greater nuances to their field.

The traditionalists supporting our ninth planet, including Australian Astrologer Milton Black, tells Scorpios – people with birthdays between Oct. 23 and Nov. 21 – to be cautious because of that sign’s close association with Pluto.

Black is quoted as saying:

“Scorpios can be extremely explosive, and very direct, and this could be the trigger that makes them explode.”

There is a possibility of civil unrest? Whew, there are many, many Scorpios!

Another supporting organization is the Astrological Association of Great Britain. Their fealty has a connection to the fact that Pluto was named, on 14 March, 1930, by a then 11-year-old girl from Epsom, England: Venetia Burney. She blurted out the name to her grandfather at the breakfast table. Since he was the retired librarian at Oxford he had astronomical connections who wired her “Pluto” across the pond to the Lowell Observatory in Arizona. That reached the ears of American astronomer Clyde Tombaugh, the discoverer of Pluto. [This is a true story. You can hear a telephone interview that NASA conducted with 76 year-old Mrs. Venetia Burney Phair on January 17, 2006 by linking to:

http://www.nasa.gov/multimedia/podcasting/transcript_pluto_naming_podcast.html.]

So, what are we to tell generations of school children who, since 1930, have been enamored with Pluto as one of us, our planetary soul-mate? He even has a mascot: the Disney canine Pluto.

OK, you shameless guys at the IAU, line yourselves up, look into the eyes of millions upon millions of school children and tell them: Never mind change the name of your Pluto to “Dinky,” or perhaps “asteroid number 134340” which the co-perps at the Minor Planet Center (MPC) just stuck to the-planet-formerly-known-as-Pluto.

But of all the fallout from this shabby affair the dollars and cents consequence falls squarely on – you might have guessed it – the American taxpayer.

Why is that?

Consider that on January 19th of this year NASA launched a $700. Million “New Horizons” robotic mission on a nine and one-half year voyage to ….. Pluto.

That is the planet Pluto.

Well, what do we do now have it make a 360 degree turn? And since it’s no longer a planet, why study it?

To answer all that I have to consult an astrologer, the only one that might have a coherent explanation.