Cookers take note for Christmas dinner

For those of you who will be getting the victuals for the upcoming holiday it is never too early to offer preparation hints and menu suggestions.

The source of this knowledge and experience is a book called The American Frugal Housewife, published in 1833.

Now, don’t let the relatively ancient date put you off. There are certain things in fine cuisine that span the centuries. This little book is replete with scrumptious, mouth-watering dishes and main courses for your esteemed guests and relatives.

To present this article in historical context I have written it as a book review as if we were in 1833.

The content in italics is quoted from the book itself.

Your own views to these unique dishes are encouraged.

………………..

Of course, you first need to be in good health to maintain your skills and reputation for cooking the best meal in town. However, should you have a sudden attack of quincy or croup, rest assured that a reliable remedy is:

Bathe [your] neck with bear’s grease, and pour it down the throat. [For the strong at heart, just throw it back as you would a shot of your husband’s best whiskey. Yes, he knows you do this occasionally because you never tightly replace the cork on the jug.]

If bear’s are in early hibernation this year then Goose grease, or any kind of oily grease is as good as bear’s oil. [Please be cautious, however, and do not take any kind of literally. Bear grease you find in a bucket in the barn – previously used on wagon wheel repair – could be contaminated by what bears do in the woods.]

Assuming that you are fit for the task ahead, consider now the menu.

Let us start on the vegetables:

For this year try potatoes Canada style. They cut the skin all off, and put them in pans, to be cooked over a stove by steam. Those who have eaten them, say they are mealy and white, looking like large snow-balls when brought upon the table.[This manner of cooking potatoes could have a secondary benefit – a primer moment – for children should you live in the south: there is a snowballs chance in hell they will ever see the real white stuff.]

One green vegetable should be on the menu if possible. Since you are of course frugal, you may have green peas [that] have become old and yellow. They may be made tender and green by sprinkling in a pinch or two of pearlash, while they are boiling. Pearlash has the same effect upon all summer vegetables, rendered tough by being too old. [Rumor has it that young-wives may find this treatment appropriate when preparing the monthly tub for husbands their senior]

Next, the choice of meat is to be made.

“…..to be economical (you) should take some pains to ascertain what are the cheapest pieces of meat to buy; not merely those which are cheapest in price, but those which go farthest when cooked. [This will be especially impressionable should you have clergy, the mayor, friends and in-laws at the table. Since the latter really didn’t think you were worthy of their son in the first place, they will be lucky you didn’t make them eat crow.]

Eschewing the crow, “Pig’s head is a profitable thing to buy. It is despised, because it is cheap; but when well cooked it is delicious. Well cleaned, the tip of the snout chopped off, and put in brine a week it is very good for boiling;….the cheeks, in particular are very sweet…..The head is likewise very good baked about an hour and a half.”  [This selection might be a bit unsettling for the table at large, unless there are persistent rumors questioning your husband’s fidelity.]

Knowing that the finale – dessert – is pure poetry to your mayor, “Old-fashioned election cake…..” couldn’t be more apt. It is made of “…four pounds of flour; three quarters of a pound of butter; four eggs; one pound of sugar….currants,,,,,or raisins….yeast.” Then it’s stretched with “……milk as soft as it can be….” Finally, “It is set to rise overnight in winter….” [A politician like the mayor feels right at home with this one: proclaim the large quantities of ingredients – water them down – and the next day take credit for all that’s good.]

The last event is a prayerful thank you from the preacher; consider that icing on the cake.

[Note: the full title of the book is, The American Frugal Housewife, dedicated to those who are not ashamed of economy, by Mrs. Child, Twelfth Edition, Boston: Carter, Hendee, and Co. 1833]